Monday, January 3, 2011

You Can't Handle The Truth!

It's AMAZING how many people will actually ask questions to dig for answers that they know they really don't want to know--seeking answers that they know they can't handle. 

You know those questions...

- Am I your first?
- Have you ever cheated on me?
- How many men have you had sex with?
- Where do you know her from?
- Do you still care about her?
- Is he bigger than me?
- Is she prettier than me?
- Do you ever think about them?

So why do we ask?  I think it's because we want confirmation.  I'm one that typically does not want to know.  I would rather not know anything that's going to make me sad, mad, angry or change my life for the worst.  I remember asking an ex for the details of his affair.  I don't know why I wanted the details, but I did.  I wanted every second of it!  Why?  I still don't know.  But I've learned since then.  I don't want to know!

And if asked, will we tell the truth?  Most, when confronted with one of the weird questions above, will simply lie.  Most will lie because we don't think the person asking will be able to handle it.  If I tell the truth, will you leave me?  Will you hate me?  Will we be able to continue our relationship the way it's been?  What if I just avoid answering in order to avoid lying?

This blog is not about the lies though.  This blog is about the truth.

When we discussed this topic on the Talking Out Loud Show, a caller provided some great insight. He said the question that should be asked is not whether we or someone else can handle the truth, but the consequences of that truth. 

THAT is what provokes many people to lie in the first place.  The inability to handle the consequences of the truth... what's going to happen next?

So it's my humble opinion that most people can NOT handle it... especially to those questions asked above.  Now if you're asking whether a child you've raised for 18 years is yours... that's a question that should be answered, whether you can handle it or not.  The consequences will be horrible IF the answer is negative.  But there are some questions that really, REALLY should be "passed" on.

For me, I won't ask silly questions because I really don't want the truth to questions that have nothing to do with me like "what does she mean to you?"  And if I'm asked a silly question that I don't think the inquirer can handle, I "pass" and move on.

1 comment:

  1. Ms. Shae,

    I tried to get back on your show but either you weren't operating the board or there was a technical difficulty. At any rate, women on the aggregate are not good girlfriends or wife material - THE FEMINIST ONLY FOCUSED ON THE OUTER WOMAN NOT HOW TO WOMEN COULD REALLY IMPROVE THEIR LIFE/LOVE CONDITIONS. Not because they can't be better but because society places no requirements for women be better in their personal lives.

    Tariq said that a man trying to find a good women is like playing 'Grand Theft Auto,' running around getting stabbed, shot and run over.

    I have such a busy schdule but I would be willing to donate time to come on your show and discuss some of the important issues that separate women and men and suggestions for reconnecting them.

    I suggest that you host and broadcast a dating show on BTR. That would be great and I can share more ideas with you WE HAVE TALKED RELATIONSHIPS TO DEATH, NOW WE NEED TO START RESOLVING THESE PROBLEMS! (^-^)
    RICHARD at:

    I wish to see women empowered, loving and living better lives but that will not happen unless they have better information to create better behavior.