Sunday, January 27, 2013

20 Degree People

Even though I live in Alabama, I know that 20 degree weather is extremely cold!  I really and truly don't like cold weather at all.  As a matter of fact I hate it.

But no matter how much I pout, scream, cry or yell about how cold 20 degree weather is... it won't warm it up.  I can complain until the cows come home--as we say in the south--but it won't change a thing.  It will still be cold and I still won't like it.

The same can be said with people.  There are some people that I really and truly don't like.  Maybe they are cold, maybe they stay hot.  For whatever reason, I have the hardest time being around them and/or dealing with them... Period.

But I can't change them.  And the sooner I accept the fact that I can't change someone else, the better.

What I can change.... is me.  Well, I won't change either, but I know that better results will start with me.

For example, I know that the 20 degree weather is cold.  I know I don't like it.  But if I must go into it, I can choose to wear a heavier coat.  I can wear two coats if necessary.  I can grab a scarf, add a hat and some gloves, and now... the 20 degree weather isn't as bad as it could be.  I've protected myself from it to a point that I feel like I'm in 60 degree weather.  I can tolerate 60 degree weather with ease.  Note:  It is still 20 degrees.

So how does this work with people that you must be around, no matter how much you think it kills you?

With some people, you need to have tougher skin.  Don't let the smallest statement cause you to explode.  Sometimes, their issue really isn't your issue.  Sometimes their issue has absolutely nothing to do with you, but with something else that's going in their lives.  Tell yourself, "Self... do not let this person ruin your day!"  Then try not to engage.

With other people, you might need to have thinner skin.  Don't let them continuously and routinely run all over you.  Speak up!  Acknowledge "out loud" that they have some issues that you are not going to put up with any longer.  Ask them, "What is the real problem?" so you can figure out how to nip it in the bud... if the issue is truly with you.  You may learn, through open conversation, that the issue is minor enough to fix.  Or the conversation may help them to realize that they need to chill out.  Pun intended.

There... now you have somewhat "warmed" the air.  It might not be perfect, and it still may be cold, but it's at least tolerable.

So the next time you know you have to encounter those people that have your body shaking, fingers numb, nose runny, ears red, and eyes watery... remember to properly dress your mind to deal with it.

20 degree weather is 20 degree weather.  And that's COLD.  You can't change it.  But you can change how you weather it.


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