Wednesday, March 16, 2011

She's Not Satisfied!

Women are not being satisfied sexually and that's why there are far more women on earth than men.

I'm ALREADY sure that some men will find this article offensive, especially if all of your offspring are girls, but it's my theory that I built based on my observations, along with research and tips collected over the years.

Most people who are expecting a child will say, "I just want a healthy baby, I don't care what the sex is." That's a great, politically correct, answer.  But there are others who are openly wishing for a particular sex.  Most men want sons and most women want little girls. 

But what can you do, if anything, to get the gender you want prior to getting pregnant?  Can you influence the sex of your child?  I know these are weird questions, but I guarantee there are millions across the country asking.  So years ago I did a little research.

Now there are lots of old wives tales out there on how to ensure that your baby is either a boy or a girl. Some are a little strange and some look to have a bit of truth to them. Some which are based on medical fact and others just don't have any truth to them at all.  Things like.. it depends on what the woman eats or the position you're in during sex. 

More than 10 years ago, after having a second little girl, a man at my church asked if I had planned to have more.  I told him that I think my husband wanted to have a son.  So this man, who has three sons, tells me, "I can tell you how to have boys."  Now of course I was thrown off at first... that's not something a woman wants whispered to her in the hallway at church.  I couldn't decide if he was being creepy or arrogant.  But I respected this man, so I entertained the conversation because I'm now curious.  He goes on to tell me, "make sure your husband takes care of you first."  I laughed.  He didn't.  He was very serious.  "He has to satisfy you first," he stated.  Then he told me to ask his wife.  So I laughed some more.  He said he had shared that tip with lots of couples and all had later produced boys.  While I still really couldn't decide whether I thought he was being creepy or arrogant, I found myself asking his wife anyway.  She concurred. 

After church, I thought about this tip... "satisfy your wife."  Then I went back to my research.  It is a fact that the 'male' sperm cells swim quicker than the 'female' sperm cells. This should make it easy to produce boys since the faster swimming 'male' sperm can quickly reach the waiting female egg and fertilize it before the slower swimming 'female' sperm reaches the destination.  So why aren't there more boys than girls being born? 

Here's another fact, the woman's body produces a cervical mucus, which is to protect the uterus from invasion of bacteria.  When this mucus is thick or "standing guard," it makes it difficult for sperm to get where it wants to go.  But when the woman's defense is down (i.e. after a great love session and an orgasm), she, along with the "guards" are knocked out cold.  This makes it easy for the faster swimming 'male' sperm to complete the trip.  So again, why aren't there more boys and girls being born?  Because men can be selfish and don't allow women to reach orgasm... that's why.

Now, if you're thinking "then how does the 'female' sperm make the trip thru the thick mucus?"  Well here's another fact:  'female' sperm cells live longer.  So while all the 'male' sperm have run themselves ragged and run out of energy trying to get past "the guards" the 'female' sperm has the ability to chill and wait... reach the egg later when no one's looking.

So based on these facts along with the tip from the guy from church, I felt it warranted some consideration.  My husband was willing, so from that point forward that was the rule--make sure I'm satisfied by taking care of me first.  A year or so later my son was born.  (And yes, the guy from church, still a friend of the family, takes full credit--he says he's creating an army). 

Now maybe his tip had absolutely nothing to do with it... but we'll never know.  Here's what we do know: there are a lot more women walking around on this earth than men.  There are lots more wives or women who have been intimate with their partners and have never experienced an orgasm, while most men are assured to get one.  So it's very easy for her walk away unsatisfied when he's done.  And, comically, there are lots more "playas" who have lots of girls by lots of women... because its my assumption that he is obviously a man that only thinks of himself.

So maybe this is just wrong, and you have ALWAYS satisfied your wife, regardless of the fact that you have all girls.  I'm sure she'd NEVER fake it.  I'm just saying... if you want a son and/or if you hate the fact that there are too many women on earth... consider puting yourself last and build a army of men.

1 comment:

  1. WOW!!!! Dude was funny...but that was not true for me. But I knew the exact moment it happened! LOL