Tuesday, September 11, 2012

The Divorced Dad.

Since becoming divorced, I have had to learn some new things all over again.  My biggest question was "am I moving in the right direction?"  The guilt of a divorce, and children affected in the fall out, weighs heavy on me. It used to paralyze me from doing what I needed to do.    

I used to wonder if I did the right thing for the family. I finally realized that I did the right thing for ME, which will give me a better me and make life better for my health and my children.  Now, it’s about my kids.   

Now I have been forced to adjust my everyday life with my children and being involved, to that visitation schedule, summer and holiday breaks thing to get my face time in.  So what do you do, well thank God for FB and text and email.  Now with those tools there is no reason not to be in touch and communicate. I have a great relationship with my children, we communicate often, but now they can reach me when ever.  I will drop a call with a person in a second to talk to my kids. Sorry its just the way it is. My kids are and have been first.   

So here is the message to the mom, barring safety issues, what is the reason you stop your kids father from being involved? You may think you are making it hard on him or “getting back at him” but you are really hurting the children and they will remember who did what... trust me. 

To the dad who isn’t involved but could be.. really… what is your issue?  As I just stated, your children will remember who did and who didn’t do what.  Just be there, show up. What are they going to say, you can’t because you’re the father.  Get over yourself and whatever issues you may have with the mom and be the father you need to be.  

I told my son who is now 13, that even in this divorced state I have to show him how to be a man, and deal with tough situations.  His mother is my ex wife… But she is his mother. I have a mother and I am expected to do certain things for her as a son, and so are you! 

"I will teach you what you need to know."  

Divorced, but still a DAD! 

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